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Three pints of lager and as many games of pool.

Publié le 29 Mars 2015

I’m writing because I feel I’m in a good place right now : I’ve just spent an evening really laughing, making bad jokes based on foolish innuendos and generally, feeling capable of expressing my opinions whilst believing in my capacities to absorb, analyse and relay certain feelings and opinions. I feel like since I started this master’s course – things have been coming together in my head – pieces of knowledge that having been drifting unsteadily around my brain have come to find their links and their place within the great jigsaw that is history, for want of a better word – one that is less charged with academic nuances and intelligent connotations. Putting it simply; I feel like bit by bit I am learning to ABSORB the information that I once took for granted – instead of merely knowing it I can put it together to form a kind of coherent jigsaw puzzle or mosaic in my head – I am not only regurgitating facts, but putting my own unique twist to it: the ways things slot together in my head is not as other people who see it and thus, unique. And rather than shy away from this individuality – I am beginning to embrace it. With enthusiasm, eager and glee – I am not just a lowly puppet but someone capable of putting together their own mind map and piecing together the pieces of a history that is, undeniably, shared by all, but one which can be infinitively interpreted by many and in many different fashions. My outlook, due to my upbringing, my exposure to different cultural environments, people, experiences, will very probably be un-identifitcle to any other. And in that, I am proud. I have a brain and I can put it to use – I can learn things, muse over them, consider them in an ignorant manner or put them into perspective alongside all the other pieces of information that my brain has decided to store – whether through laborious revision techniques, or purely as an intriguing fact – good to store away for a rainy day.

Indeed, for the first time in a long time, I feel at ease in expressing my own opinions - I am not merely citing some old degree level lesson but referencing a previous university lecture in order to explain how I have come to obtain whatever overall verdict. I am all knowledgeable but what I am capable of knowing and knowing in my sense of the word as understanding as logic based on my outlook and experience of the world is enough to make me interesting, valuable as a human being.

For one of the first times in my life, I am speaking from my heart whilst using my head: I’m mixing my personal first-hand experience with my knowledge – only that which I have condoned my brain, subconsciously, unconsciously, to save. It’s amazing that only at the age of 22 years old, I feel capable of digesting information, not so much as an android reprocessing fragments of information, but rather as a unique human being, entirely open to his/her own feelings and therefore, thoughts.

So, I just thought you should know – I’m beginning to say what I feel, trust, believe and I hope that one day, you will be here to see, hear and object or approve of what I have to say.

If this is education, count me in.

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